Im happy but there is a heavy feeling of sadness in my heart that I just can't remove. Why am I like this?

Most people that know me would probably describe me as a social, happy, and somewhat quirky person with a twisted sense of humor.

But no matter what I read or practiced, I could never make the sadness budge for longer than a few fleeting moments - and even then, it was likely due to me being distracted from the sensation of sadness rather than anything actually shifting.

It’s here now, writing to you.

Here's How Much Traders Expect Apple Stock to Move After WWDC - Investopedia

Needless to say, my failed attempts to fix my sadness simply brought me more pain and suffering.

It’s still here.

What I am trying to say is that when you stop trying to change yourself into something you are not, you give yourself the gift of discovering yourself as you already are.

Rikishi calls for WWE writers to be fired for botching Jey Uso’s world title run - Cageside Seats

You are the masterpiece you came here to discover.

Be who you already are.

I had run out of hope.

Has any man licked his wife's vagina while another man had sex with her?

It’s impossible to overstate the freedom and peace I discovered, and I realized the only one who had been keeping those from me was… me and my imagined standards and expectations for how I had imagined I should be.

It’s the most beautiful and liberating thing in the world.

Your job is not to be the manager of your life, but the one who discovers yourself fully.

Boisson Beats Andreeva, Updated French Open Women's Bracket at Roland-Garros - Bleacher Report

But unlike before, there is no more resistance to the sadness.

It’s difficult to put into words exactly what caused what, but to the best of my ability to describe it, I felt as if my will to keep fighting was beaten right out of me.

So I finally threw my hands up and said something to the tune of “fuck it, since I can't seem to change, I’ll just be whatever I am then.”

Official website of the International Federation of Sport Climbing. - ifsc climbing

When I stopped trying to force myself to be something I am not, I gave myself the freedom of being who I am.

What most people don’t know unless they’ve looked more closely is that there is also an element of deep, profound sadness that has always been with me since as long as I can remember.

This interpretation lead me on a path of self improvement, to fix what I considered to be “wrong” with myself.

How can you tell if someone or someone's is trying to recruit or at least test you for a secret organization?

I was tired of trying and failing.

You are like me, then.

And the sadness?

Disagreements over Duchenne therapy, management style may have led to ouster of key FDA official - STAT

In the absence of a should, I was free to be as I am.

Now, this may sound like a story of failure and giving up, but it’s actually a story of liberation.

It wasn’t until about 10 years ago that I finally fell out of that ferris wheel of trying and failing to fix myself.

NASCAR hopeful for deserved return to Mexico City in 2026; will INDYCAR join? - FOX Sports

I was tired of fighting.

Without resistance, sadness has a sense of beauty and depth I cannot find otherwise in life.

So if you are sad - like me - then be sad.

What is the best editor base on AI for developers?

For much of my adult life, I interpreted this sadness as something being wrong - with either myself or my life in general.

The sadness was still there.